"You look almost as bad as your grenade aim."
"And those pigtails are making me feel like a pedophile."
If you can figure out what’s going on in this one, you get a cookie. Because I don’t even have a clue.
"Are we done with this, Shepard?"
"…Yeah. We’re done."
What to Do When Your Good Guys are Bad Guys: a Guide.
You mean the crunchy parts of oreos are edible?
|Anonymous I'll get back ta ya as as soon as I can:
MARY AND SAREN. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Thank you, my dear anonymous enabler.
THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS
Weird alien datemates, anyone?
Mary sat still in her chair. Her feet were propped up on the side of Saren’s hospital bed, to show that she wasn’t worried about his well being or anything stupid and domestic like that, but her feet were sock-clad and free of her smelly boots to show that she did care, and that she was very sorry for hitting him in the face with a foot of metal piping.
His face was all she was responsible for, thank Christ. The rest of him, torn up like sandwich meat, wasn’t. It looked horrible, even under layers of bandages and slimy medi gel.
She wanted a cigarette. She always wanted one, but thinking about him writhing around on the ground screaming like an animal made the need especially intense.
They fought, on that little radiation-beat moon, like they always did, and things went to hell, like they always did. She screamed at him until her throat went hoarse. Fight, you fucker. Fight it, please, it doesn’t have to be this way. The sound Sovereign had made was heavy and hard and tore right through her head and almost popped her little ear drums. A hundred different voices had all whispered to lay down, to throw her weapon away, to bust a pipe in her helmet and let the pressure suck out her eyeballs. It was worse than any nightmare she could dream up— and even through all of that noise, she could hear him screaming.
She’d once dug her thumb into a batarian’s eyeball, but even that was just a whimper next to the noises Saren made. It might as well have been silent.
Her fingers twitched to her pocket. She’d tossed her pack of smokes in the garbage on the way into the hospital, damn it all.
Pink light from the billboard outside the window slanted across the floor, cutting through the dark. Saren’s breathing was shallow. The doctor said he was stable, but he didn’t look like it— there were too many bags of weirdly-colored fluids hooked up to him. His heart rate monitor (did turians have hearts?) was too quiet.
“You really got fucked up out there,” she told him. “Stroked out and pulled your own robo-guts out of yourself. Had an aneurysm and everything.”
His eyelids fluttered.
“I don’t know why I keep sticking my neck out for you,” she continued. “I hate your guts. You shot people I care about, blew shit up… You’ve just been a huge pain in the ass, you know?” She moved her feet to the floor so she could rest her chin on the rail of the bed. She didn’t think he was conscious— all he really did was breathe. That was okay, though. That was all that mattered right now.
“Jesus. I’m sitting in your hospital room. Hell, I might even pay your bill, if it’s not covered. I don’t know what kind of insurance you have.”
He said nothing. Unconscious people were pretty good at that.
“I don’t have any. If I do get shot up or toasted or whatever, I’d appreciate it if you left me there.” She sucked in a breath. “‘Cause this… This is just miserable. You couldn’t look sadder if they put a dog cone on you. And, I don’t know why it’s fucking with me.” She paused. “Do you?”
No answer. He looked pretty dead with his arms by his sides, so she moved one to rest on his stomach.
“There. That’s not as icky.” She stared at him for a minute. Then she figured she should get some water to wet her dry throat, so she got up and went to the water cooler in the hall. It was old, small, and beat up, but it was clean, and the switches worked. She flipped a switch and watched the water patter into her styrofoam cup.
She couldn’t wait for it to fill all the way up. She kept thinking she heard Saren flatlining, so she headed back into his room with her cup not even half full.
She leaned against the wall.
“You’re gonna be tender as a boiled lobster when you wake up,” Mary said softly.
Stop talking to him. You are fucking gross— what are you, married? She sipped from her cup.
“Get better, man. You can’t die like this. That’s a really, really shitty way to go. People like you and me, we’re supposed to go up in a blaze of glory. Not like an old grandma, with bandages and catheters up the wazoo. You’re tougher than that.”
She really hoped so. If he wasn’t tough enough to stand up to a Reaper, how could she be? She couldn’t even admit it to herself, but he was stronger than she could ever be. As long as he was alive, she knew that she stood a chance too— Mary Shepard was steel, but Saren Arterius was gravity itself.
Mary crushed her styrofoam cup and threw it in the trash before she sat down again.
“It’s… It’s just gonna be shitty, if you die, even after everything,” she told him. Part of her wanted him to remember this, and the other part was sincerely damn glad that he was higher than a kite on all these painkillers, otherwise the ensuing conversation would be incredibly awkward. “I’m trying to save you. You’re not allowed to just quit. That’s cheating.”
Saren took a breath, then let it out. And out. And out. For one dizzying minute, she thought it was his last, but he inhaled again.
She noticed the medical tape securing his IV was wrinkled. She reached out to smooth it down, but his hand closed around her wrist. She froze. The metal of his prosthetic arm was scratched and warped with heat. He pushed her hand back into her lap before returning his own to his stomach. His touch was as weak as a baby bird’s. She thought she heard him say “shut up.”
Mary rested her head in her hands and cried.
Part two of the Reapers-don’t-show-up AU, featuring imnotjellyatall's Miles Shepard!
“Nice of you to mention he’s a complete bastard,” Mary said out of the corner of her mouth. Nihlus stepped on her foot.
Saren gave her a withering look. “I do not believe I was talking to you.”
A young man approached. Mary looked him up and down. He was cute—really cute. Tall, dark-skinned, with a strip of his black hair bleached blonde. He saluted smartly.
“Commander Arterius, sir.”
“Cool. You’ve got a pet Shepard too,” Mary said. The other Shepard cocked an eyebrow.
“Not at all by cosmic design. Maybe we’re both borne of the same father gremlin?”
“Miles,” Saren said sharply. Miles fell silent as he turned away. He’s a dick, Mary mouthed to him. He smiled slightly.
When Mary put her palm flush against the pale, scarred-over flesh in the crook of Saren’s shoulder and arm, it felt more exposed, more vulnerable. The tubing she’d removed was still missing; she could even see a few more had disconnected and tied off. One had holes punched in by teeth running down its length. Several chunks of Geth armor had been ripped away.
“You look like hell,” she muttered, sliding her hand down, thumbing aside a tangle of small wires.
AU where the Reapers either don’t show up, or make a later appearance, so Nihlus lives and becomes Mary’s mentor.
“Petition t’change Special Tactics & Reconnaissance to Suck Penis Touch Rear End.”
Nihlus’s sigh was the deep exhale of a man who had no hope. He scrubbed his face.
“Shepard… You forgot the c.”
“Fleshy pink monkey baby? I’m a human, ya fuck nut, you’re the offspring of Albert Einstein and a giant Goddamn frog.”
“Shepard, I’ll have you know that this tirade is heading into xenophobic territory.”
“Y’know those little dead baby mice that you feed to snakes? They call ‘em… Pinkies? Yeah. He called me a pinky. That’s racist—“
“Mary, please,” Nihlus said sharply. Mary whined and rested her forehead against the window.
“This eats an entire ass,” she complained.
Overall I’m very happy with my Tumblr blog, but the HTML support is something that is sadly not so great - quite a few tags are not supported, including the
Unfortunately this makes it hard to have short breaks in blocks of text between groups of paragraphs - empty
<p></p>pairs are also stripped out :(
<code>tag is not, and using this and a
" "(non-breaking space) we can create paragraphs that don’t look empty to Tumblr and so aren’t stripped out, but also don’t contain any visible characters, and thus look like an ordinary line break.
The exact HTML is “
<p><code> </code></p>" :-)